During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
