She said her name was "party"
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
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