Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
