DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Drunk is not a location!
Randomize
