He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
