You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
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