Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
