lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Randomize
