We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
