okay pat passed out under dana's car
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
