Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
