We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Randomize
