wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
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Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
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I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I came so hard my ears popped.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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