Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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