If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
