I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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