he puts the penis in happiness.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
