Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Panties = found
Randomize
