Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize