Where is the hickey?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
