ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
