Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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