Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
