I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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