I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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