So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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