i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
