He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize