There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Randomize
