I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I'm sobbing to NWA
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
