so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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