that's an acceptable place to lick
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
