As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
