We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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