We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize