there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
We just shotgunned beers for America
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Randomize
