He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
