i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
That accounts for only three of the penises
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
