i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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