I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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