Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize