Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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