Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I am midnight drunk by noon
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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