'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
My feet surprised me
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
