Well douche your snatch and let's go!
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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