A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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