so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
