Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
