You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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