I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
