Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
