quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Randomize
