Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
