Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
