Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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