I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
