thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
farters have to be the big spoon...
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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