Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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