If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
