just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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