how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
