The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
did i walk over a car last night?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
