things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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