I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
