Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
ok first of all what the fuck
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
