you have to choose: penises or morals?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
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