Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
