just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
