At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
