Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
