I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize
