help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I am available for nakedness
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
