I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Randomize