apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
